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The Failure List

  In talking about self-esteem, one of the components is competency. Competence is defined as having the ability to navigate life's challenges, to think, understand, learn, and make decisions. I think we get stuck because we feel incapable of doing things or incapable of asking for help. Maybe there was a time when we had people doing things for us, and although they were doing it out of love, they were not helping us build capabilities for ourselves. As a counselor, in the field of addiction, over the years, I have found one of the best things I can do for my clients is to have them do things for themselves, whether that be calling their doctors to make appointments or setting up a new provider. Having them set up and follow through on interviews with job placements, having them call their POs to check-in, let them know where they are, etc. Sometimes we feel that we are incapable of doing tasks, and when we ask for help, we get upset when people won't do it for us. I remember ...

11 Ways to Build Lasting Self-Esteem

  Self-esteem is essentially the quality of being pleased with yourself. The opposite of having high self-esteem is loathing yourself, which is obviously a challenging way to live. Learning how to be happy with yourself can benefit you in every other aspect of your life. You’ll be a lot happier in general, too.   Learn to love yourself and raise your self-esteem with these tips:  1. Volunteer . Demonstrate to yourself that you’re a good person by giving some of your spare time to a worthy cause. You’ll feel better about yourself than if you’d spent the same time watching a TV series marathon instead.  2. Do something each day that you’re good at . We feel competent and confident while doing something that we know we’re good at. Make a list of the things you know in your heart that you do well. Do at least one of them each day and notice how you feel.  3. Remind yourself of your successes daily . Spend a few minutes each day reviewing your successes. Include rece...

Quiet Your Inner Critic

 How to quiet your inner critic: When talking about self-esteem frequently we talk about our inner critic. The critic is the voice inside our head that constantly gives us feedback about our performance. Those with lower self-esteem listen to a particularly harsh inner critic, one whose voice is loud, clear, and persistent.  The critic is so much a part of us that we hardly notice that it's debilitating. Slowly but surely, it tricks us and makes us believe that we are not worthy. So how do we quiet our inner critic?   1. Be conscious of your inner critic. Take note of the number of times during the day your inner voice demeans you.  2. Engage in a dialogue with your inner critic. When it puts you down, ask  *Where is this voice coming from?  *Is it a true fact? *What happens when I believe that thought?   *Does it get me what I want?  3. Replace your inner critic with your inner coach, one who will guide and advise you rather than shame...

7 Simple Ways to Make Your Day More Productive

  There are only so many hours in a day. Being more productive means getting more out of the limited time we have available. Despite how productive you might already be, odds are you can enhance your productivity even more. Being more productive can lead to having more time available for life’s more enjoyable activities. Your boss will likely be pleased, too.   These simple ideas can lead to higher levels of productivity:   1.      Use a timer. Before starting a task, take a moment to assess how long it should take. Set a timer for that amount of time and get busy. Using a timer has multiple benefits:   ·        It provides an obvious stopping point. You don’t need to watch the clock. ·        You’re less likely to allow distractions to become an issue. It’s easier to put all those distractions aside until the timer sounds or the task is complete. Maybe even put them or your...

10 WAYS TO REDUCE OVERWHELM

 Here are 10 ways to reduce overwhelm Set goals : set long term AND  short term goals. For example, I want to start my own business (long term goal) steps I can take now are; take some courses on business and marketing, save some money for the initial capital it will take to launch the business, join a group of like-minded people (masterminds) Set priorities : after making your "to-do list" make 2 MUST  do. No matter what happens these two things must get done. For example, I MUST exercise for at least 20 minutes today and I MUST finish recording this portion of my course. Set boundaries : learn how to say no and not take on more responsibilities than you can and should do. Sometimes people take advantage of our good nature and sometimes we are enabling our loved ones by not allowing them to do it themselves even if that means they fall flat on their face. Set time limits : When doing a task sometimes we can get caught up and lose track of time and then the other things w...

S.A.D. Seasonal Affective Disorder

 S.A.D. is a type of depression that is seasonal and is usually prevalent in areas that have less sunlight during certain times of the year. Here in New England, that season is fall and winter. Many suffer and in various degrees. Your symptoms may include a change in mood: anxiety, apathy, general discontent, loneliness, loss of interest, mood swings, or sadness—other symptoms such as excessive sleep or sleep deprivation, even insomnia. Body aches, fatigue, and appetite changes with weight gain often occur. Also common are irritability, social isolation, lack of concentration, and of course, depression. S.A.D. can be self-diagnosed,, and there are many treatments for it. If you suffer from these symptoms, you can see your doctor, and he/she will probably prescribe some medication, and sometimes that medication helps. I'm writing this today because I too suffer from S.A.D. I take that back. I used to SUFFER, now I take steps to help alliviate the symptoms and in a more holistic way....

Its too cold outside, and other great excuses

 I was supposed to go for a walk this morning. My daughter called and asked if I wanted to go to her house for lunch. It's been a while since I went to visit her and I had been working very hard at work, school, and creating my online course. So I was happy for the break. I finished some homework in the morning and I figured I could go for a walk with her and my grandson. It was very chilly outside. We did go outside to play for a bit but no walk. I haven't' been getting my walks in after work because it gets dark early and by the time I get home it's too dark.  These are my top three excuses; lack of time, it's too dark, and my favorite             It's too cold out!!! I need to find a way. I need to change the plan. I know when things are not working and I'm not achieving my goal I need to change the plan not the goal!! change of plan 1. On my days off go in the morning before I do anything else and get distracted 2. Take a break at w...